‘Family is not necessarily your blood. We are raised to think that but sometimes our family lets us down and we end up creating a new family for ourselves. Family is all the people you can rely on, people who won’t judge you, people who have your back, people you can trust, people who are loyal. That’s family’
I love this quote, not least because it comes from my beloved Madonna but because it is true of my world. As I have gotten older I have learnt to be more discerning about the people I surround myself with. Not so long ago I even went so far as conducting a people detox to free myself from those who no longer served me, and so to that end – with very limited blood kin interaction – over the past few years it is the tribe I have found and chosen for myself that I have come to consider family.
And even though we are scattered around the globe I live for our interactions. I love my Whatsapp blowing up with epic conversations of everything and nothing, the belly laughs that only they can induce, our FaceTime chats, hugs (both real and virtual), the style tips, precious moments we spend together in person making memories and the unwavering love and support we have for each other through the good, bad and in between times.
I am writing this at a time when I am witness to one of my tribe go through something truly awful, and in my role as her sister friend I am there on the other side of phone; to keep her calm, make her laugh, give advice where warranted, to ensure she knows she is supported but mostly all I do is listen – anytime day or night she knows I am there to listen. And its just my turn, she is there for me when I need her, its just my turn now to be there for her.
Therein lies the magic of a tribe you create for yourself… the knowing; knowing there are people who always have your back, knowing there are people who will lift you up when you need a boost, knowing there are people who can reflect you back to yourself when you are lost, knowing there are people who support your dreams, who motivate and challenge you. Knowing there are people – my people who teach me soul things and heart math. I read somewhere you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and thinking about it right here right now the five people I have spent the most time with just this last month, I am like ‘Hell Yes! I should be so lucky.’ There is no one I would rather be on this insane world roller coaster with. My tribe; my heart my soul my people.
Sat Nam
And… so Saudi Arabia is finally allowing women into stadiums and granting them the right to drive. This is no small feat but a rumbling war in Yemen, the Gulf row with neighbouring Qatar and the small matter of abhorrent human rights violations still make my blood boil, so yes a step in the right direction but there is too much still to fight for over there #freeAlial-Nimr ♥ Twenty years ago this week I left everything and everyone I know in New Zealand to become a kiwi girl abroad. I left with only one real goal and that was to chase Madonna around the world and as serendipity would have it I well and truly succeeded in doing just that (36 times ten countries) with many many other adventures along the way. It has been one wild ride that’s for sure. Excited for what happens next. Bring on the next twenty #HappyAnniversaryToMe #RollOnNextChapter #PeaceLove
28 September, 2017 at 15:02
I liked the post a lot, and I do agree that it’s crucial to make your own tribe and they do play a key role in our lives. Although I love my family and we get along fantastic, the family we create in parallel is oh so important.
28 September, 2017 at 15:05
💗
28 September, 2017 at 23:11
20th anniversary? My, my… quite a while… 🙂
29 September, 2017 at 02:58
Yes, quite! And yet sometimes it feels like no time has passed at all. Thank you for reading x
29 September, 2017 at 18:11
Don’t mention it. A lovely week-end to you.
30 September, 2017 at 16:49
Congrats on your 20 year milestone and on building a true family along the way. Hugs!
30 September, 2017 at 18:38
thank you kind sir x
2 October, 2017 at 01:09
It is so true of the tribe we develop. Sometimes family is not always there to be the support. Very good reminder here as to what one may expect in our life’s journey!👍🏾🙂
2 October, 2017 at 02:12
thank you x
2 October, 2017 at 11:37
I like this. You are indeed blessed to have family, and they too are lucky to have you.
3 October, 2017 at 04:57
Global friendships are a truly magical thing! Lovely to hear of your own experiences.
3 October, 2017 at 05:43
😃 I do love my tribe 💃🏻
4 October, 2017 at 13:17
Yes! A tribe is so important to have. ❤
4 October, 2017 at 21:01
I know right, I just love love love mine
10 October, 2017 at 12:11
Beautiful ideas, I love your mind. Stay blessed!
10 October, 2017 at 21:32
thank you for reading x
12 October, 2017 at 00:34
Girl I think you are one of my tribe!! So speaking of…I just left an abusive relationship and I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to helping women who and men who are living with domestic violence and in the process of leaving it. I know you have a ton of followers who might get something out of it. I’m just going to write through my healing journey. If I can help people, it makes it worth it. My personal email is courtneylparks33@gmail.com. Name is Courtney. Would love to connect! You do amazing work!!
15 October, 2017 at 00:41
Oh wow bravo to you for finding the courage to leave and using your experiences to give back via your blog, I’ll be sure to follow and am happy to support you in any way I can. Thank you for reaching out, looking forward to connecting 💗
13 October, 2017 at 16:25
It’s wonderful to run into that rare thing, a fellow listener! (re: your “like” on my blog post about listening)
15 October, 2017 at 04:53
I have found the blogger community being so supportive and amazing. Love your take on it.
16 October, 2017 at 05:58
So nice
16 October, 2017 at 06:54
Thank you x
16 October, 2017 at 14:17
Seems like we take one step forward and two steps back in human rights. I love the blogger community
16 October, 2017 at 15:24
Agree but any kind of progress feels so damn good!
16 October, 2017 at 18:12
Absolutely, we need to be grateful for little steps
17 October, 2017 at 21:30
Having the right tribe is definitely vital to our growth and development. Good article!
17 October, 2017 at 21:40
Thank you 💗
19 October, 2017 at 23:14
“Knowing there are people there to reflect you back to yourself.” Profound.
19 October, 2017 at 23:40
Thank you x
20 October, 2017 at 10:28
I’ve also been cleaning out and refreshing my friend group, because when I heard I’m the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with, I said, “oh, no….” It’s been rough finding my tribe, and it’s something I blogged about, too. Great post — thanks for sharing.
20 October, 2017 at 11:14
I was lucky with my tribe some have have with me since I was 4 others are newer ~ they are my everything I just love them. Thank you for reading x
20 October, 2017 at 11:58
Reblogged this on Sanctuary of the White Rose and commented:
meaning of living from your heart space
26 October, 2017 at 11:35
Happy anniversary and here is to many more 🌈
26 October, 2017 at 21:30
thank you 💗
29 October, 2017 at 02:18
That is all very true what you have written, a friend has just helped me do my blog so you are my first, so please bear with me, I can only get better. A few years ago someone ask me on the phone. ‘Which race I belonged too?’ That was easy I said, ‘I belong to the human race.’ By showing that ray of friend you attract people to you, and then you choose. Tam’has
29 October, 2017 at 03:33
I get asked all the time about my race (being an Indian Kiwi South African living in the UK can get confusing) and I always say I belong to the human race. I feel of the world and not of particularly anywhere (except when it comes to rugby then I’m an All Black all the way), thank you for reading my friend x
2 November, 2017 at 10:40
Awesome write up. Thanks for sharing
2 November, 2017 at 10:44
💗😃💗
4 November, 2017 at 11:47
Definitely great post, and how true. Keep writing dear.
9 November, 2017 at 07:58
So true. My tribe is what keeps me moving. Trust that they’ll always be there to listen. Thanks for sharing your heart warming thoughts and for reminding me that I indeed have a tribe.
9 November, 2017 at 08:43
💗
12 November, 2017 at 05:13
wonderful to experience
you deep connection 🙂
12 November, 2017 at 05:38
thank you for reading x
20 November, 2017 at 15:10
It all comes down to choice doesn’t it. We don’t have a choice who our blood family is but the family we make for ourselves is born of choice. Both are important and special to me. Thanks for your words.
20 November, 2017 at 17:08
Absolutely agree.
22 November, 2017 at 14:07
Building your own tribe… Something my wife and I have been working on, yet struggling with for years. Thanks for your inspiration.
22 November, 2017 at 19:49
You have each other at least, that’s a lot already x
22 November, 2017 at 21:11
That’s very true, and not something we take for granted.
8 July, 2018 at 02:03
Are you still posting nowadays your writings?
18 July, 2018 at 02:58
just on a hiatus
18 July, 2018 at 04:25
All right. It’s pretty way cool.
18 July, 2018 at 04:26
I really agree about this blog of yours.