A Charmed Life

my tribe; my heart my soul my people


‘Family is not necessarily your blood. We are raised to think that but sometimes our family lets us down and we end up creating a new family for ourselves. Family is all the people you can rely on, people who won’t judge you, people who have your back, people you can trust, people who are loyal. That’s family’

I love this quote, not least because it comes from my beloved Madonna but because it is true of my world. As I have gotten older I have learnt to be more discerning about the people I surround myself with. Not so long ago I even went so far as conducting a people detox to free myself from those who no longer served me, and so to that end – with very limited blood kin interaction – over the past few years it is the tribe I have found and chosen for myself that I have come to consider family.

And even though we are scattered around the globe I live for our interactions. I love my Whatsapp blowing up with epic conversations of everything and nothing, the belly laughs that only they can induce, our FaceTime chats, hugs (both real and virtual), the style tips, precious moments we spend together in person making memories and the unwavering love and support we have for each other through the good, bad and in between times.

I am writing this at a time when I am witness to one of my tribe go through something truly awful, and in my role as her sister friend I am there on the other side of phone; to keep her calm, make her laugh, give advice where warranted, to ensure she knows she is supported but mostly all I do is listen – anytime day or night she knows I am there to listen. And its just my turn, she is there for me when I need her, its just my turn now to be there for her.

Therein lies the magic of a tribe you create for yourself… the knowing;  knowing there are people who always have your back, knowing there are people who will lift you up when you need a boost, knowing there are people who can reflect you back to yourself when you are lost, knowing there are people who support your dreams, who motivate and challenge you. Knowing there are people – my people who teach me soul things and heart math. I read somewhere you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and thinking about it right here right now the five people I have spent the most time with just this last month, I am like ‘Hell Yes! I should be so lucky.’ There is no one I would rather be on this insane world roller coaster with. My tribe; my heart my soul my people.

Sat Nam

And… so Saudi Arabia is finally allowing women into stadiums and granting them the right to drive. This is no small feat but a rumbling war in Yemen, the Gulf row with neighbouring Qatar and the small matter of abhorrent human rights violations still make my blood boil, so yes a step in the right direction but there is too much still to fight for over there #freeAlial-Nimr  Twenty years ago this week I left everything and everyone I know in New Zealand to become a kiwi girl abroad. I left with only one real goal and that was to chase Madonna around the world and as serendipity would have it I well and truly succeeded in doing just that (36 times ten countries) with many many other adventures along the way. It has been one wild ride that’s for sure. Excited for what happens next. Bring on the next twenty #HappyAnniversaryToMe #RollOnNextChapter #PeaceLove

Author: akiwigirlabroad

'the universe always has your back'

52 thoughts on “my tribe; my heart my soul my people

  1. I liked the post a lot, and I do agree that it’s crucial to make your own tribe and they do play a key role in our lives. Although I love my family and we get along fantastic, the family we create in parallel is oh so important.

  2. 20th anniversary? My, my… quite a while… 🙂

  3. Congrats on your 20 year milestone and on building a true family along the way. Hugs!

  4. It is so true of the tribe we develop. Sometimes family is not always there to be the support. Very good reminder here as to what one may expect in our life’s journey!👍🏾🙂

  5. I like this. You are indeed blessed to have family, and they too are lucky to have you.

  6. Global friendships are a truly magical thing! Lovely to hear of your own experiences.

  7. Yes! A tribe is so important to have. ❤

  8. Beautiful ideas, I love your mind. Stay blessed!

  9. Girl I think you are one of my tribe!! So speaking of…I just left an abusive relationship and I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to helping women who and men who are living with domestic violence and in the process of leaving it. I know you have a ton of followers who might get something out of it. I’m just going to write through my healing journey. If I can help people, it makes it worth it. My personal email is courtneylparks33@gmail.com. Name is Courtney. Would love to connect! You do amazing work!!

    • Oh wow bravo to you for finding the courage to leave and using your experiences to give back via your blog, I’ll be sure to follow and am happy to support you in any way I can. Thank you for reaching out, looking forward to connecting 💗

  10. It’s wonderful to run into that rare thing, a fellow listener! (re: your “like” on my blog post about listening)

  11. I have found the blogger community being so supportive and amazing. Love your take on it.

  12. Seems like we take one step forward and two steps back in human rights. I love the blogger community

  13. Having the right tribe is definitely vital to our growth and development. Good article!

  14. “Knowing there are people there to reflect you back to yourself.” Profound.

  15. I’ve also been cleaning out and refreshing my friend group, because when I heard I’m the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with, I said, “oh, no….” It’s been rough finding my tribe, and it’s something I blogged about, too. Great post — thanks for sharing.

  16. Reblogged this on Sanctuary of the White Rose and commented:
    meaning of living from your heart space

  17. Happy anniversary and here is to many more 🌈

  18. That is all very true what you have written, a friend has just helped me do my blog so you are my first, so please bear with me, I can only get better. A few years ago someone ask me on the phone. ‘Which race I belonged too?’ That was easy I said, ‘I belong to the human race.’ By showing that ray of friend you attract people to you, and then you choose. Tam’has

    • I get asked all the time about my race (being an Indian Kiwi South African living in the UK can get confusing) and I always say I belong to the human race. I feel of the world and not of particularly anywhere (except when it comes to rugby then I’m an All Black all the way), thank you for reading my friend x

  19. Awesome write up. Thanks for sharing

  20. Definitely great post, and how true. Keep writing dear.

  21. So true. My tribe is what keeps me moving. Trust that they’ll always be there to listen. Thanks for sharing your heart warming thoughts and for reminding me that I indeed have a tribe.

  22. wonderful to experience
    you deep connection 🙂

  23. It all comes down to choice doesn’t it. We don’t have a choice who our blood family is but the family we make for ourselves is born of choice. Both are important and special to me. Thanks for your words.

  24. Building your own tribe… Something my wife and I have been working on, yet struggling with for years. Thanks for your inspiration.

  25. Are you still posting nowadays your writings?

  26. I really agree about this blog of yours.

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