A Charmed Life

always my princess


It was Sunday afternoon, I was stood with my mother in the carpark of Pak’nSave Johnsonville when I heard the news. I have no recollection of how I heard; might have been on the radio, or a fellow shopper but the words registered: Princess Diana was dead. All I remember after that is silence. The two of us loading the car with our groceries in silence, the wordless drive home, every now and then our eyes meeting in silent acknowledgement that it was true. The tears would come but for the next hour or so it was just silence. Shock in silence.

That was 20 years ago this week.
20 years! Looking back on my own life next month I hit my own 20 milestone, as it will be 20 years since I left New Zealand. I have lived a whole lifetime in that time, the world’s landscape has changed drastically and there is now an entire generation who know nothing about that Diana magic.

And she had that magic, there can be no doubt about that, she had IT whatever it is. She was my consummate princess from the moment I met her in February 1981 when she became engaged to her prince and for the next 16 years I was my mother’s willing accomplice in all things Diana. There are so many Diana moments throughout my life; from pouring over magazine articles, to collecting merchandise, watching the wedding (I was eight and it the first time I was ever allowed to stay up past midnight) to going to an exhibition in Sydney of her dresses, seeing Diana at Government House on the Royal tour of 1983 to paying my respects at the British High Commission in Wellington the day after she died and at Kensington Palace when I would later visit London.

She was worthy of it too – my love – our love. She was beautiful and she rocked a tiara, she was a people person and she cared deeply for humans especially the downtrodden, she loved her two boys and she brought them up to be compassionate AND she was as flawed as the rest of us and she never presented anything but, she was real and as such her death felt personal to millions of us, the global outpouring of grief we witnessed in the aftermath of her death is testament to that. And 20 years on her legacy continues on through her lovely dynamite boys William and Harry and the service they do particularly in their focus on difficult issues like AIDS and mental health.

That day at the British High Commission in the condolence book I wrote “I am heartbroken at this reality, gone way too soon beautiful Diana, you will be missed so very much, rest now angel” and as I am sat here writing these words thinking about her I am also reminded of the times we live in, and this thought crossed my mind – it isn’t so much that she is missed though she is, it is more that the world could do with more of her kind of caring right now.

Diana – the Queen of People’s Hearts, always my princess 1961-1997

Sat Nam

And… I am loving Twin Peaks, in my very bias opinion it is the BEST television to have graced our screens since… well since Twin Peaks screened 25 years ago but before this series started I was wary about how David Bowie’s character would be used if at all. I wanted Agent Phillip Jeffries to be included but casting another actor would have been a disservice to our beloved Starman, so bravo Mr Lynch for the dedication (S3 E14) and the inclusion of Phillip Jeffries  – superbly done in Twin Peaks style. Cannot believe its ending already, only two episodes left, oh my days!#andWhoistheDreamer  Okay so P!nk has always rocked but how awesome was that speech on Sunday.  If you haven’t heard it, please click here, we need to be hearing and speaking this kind of speak more and more for this is how love wins #WearetheChangeMakers And lastly sending prayers of blessing and protection for those in Mumbai and Texas. May all be guided to safety and may the rains be calmed by the hand of God #OneLove

Author: akiwigirlabroad

'the universe always has your back'

29 thoughts on “always my princess

  1. I respected Diana, she strongly tried, to eliminate the perhaps, millions, of active land mines, that – my America, planted into the ground in Cambodia, Laos, and most likely, parts of Thailand.

    Diana very forcefully, tried to get governments to dig all of them up, repair.

    Children still, now, on this very day… play by the land mines, often some of them, have their legs blown off… a land mine is designed, mostly to grievously wound, the enemy… require extensive medical care.
    Leo Campbell

    • Yes she was so brave in being a pioneer on bringing attention to the issues of land mines, I still remember that walk she did with the Halo trust vest in an area that was known for land mines. Brave caring beautiful soul 🙏🏼

  2. I have not seen the new Twin Peaks but I was a huge fan of the original which was ahead of it’s time.

    ❤ Sindy

    Also I cannot believe it has been twenty years, and I still believed she was murdered.

    • You do! Noooo I just think it was a series of misnomers like hanging with wrong type of man/drunk driver/being chased by the paps ~ she should never have been there and she wouldn’t have been if she wasn’t insecure and lonely.

      As for Twin Peaks, this series has been beyond phenomenal, I hope you get to see it everybody needs more David Lynch in their lives.
      Always nice to hear from you Sindy be well my friend x

  3. Thank you for liking my post, that was really nice of you.

    I never met Diana despite being only a hour or so from London which is something I always regretted, my sister did though and she described it as a magical experience. It doesn’t seem like twenty years since she died but she lives on in her sons and her wonderful grandchildren.

  4. I loved Princess Diana. She was so beautiful. She will live long in the hearts of the people.

  5. Hello,
    Thanks for dropping by and liking my work as well.
    with your added comments to twin peaks I may actually start with the original. Been hearing about that too much lately.

  6. Your post really resonated with me. I also remember Diana’s death very clearly. In fact, I remember it every year–she died on my birthday.

  7. Thank you for liking my blog; the feeling is mutual! So hard to believe that 20 years has gone by. I still hauntingly remember the two young princes, so young and so stoic, walking in the funeral procession. She would have been so proud of the men they have become.

  8. Princess Diana… I think we all will always know what what we did when we heard…

  9. She was one of my heroes. Such a loss.

  10. It is very sensitive what you wrote… or it is my pregnancy that makes me more sensitive, but you are totally right. I also miss all these people: Lady Di, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Paul Walker, Amelia Earhart, Paul Newman, Audrey Hepburn and many others, all of them different but with amazing hearts, real models no matter what they did. I do not know how we can fill up these empty spaces but the answer lies inside each of our souls. There are many ways to keep them alive and it seems that you have already found one 🙂

    • I’ve had moments when I’ve lost a hero of ‘who do I look up to now.’ As the years go by more and more of these precious change makers transition on, I had to look to myself to understand why these people are my heroes and I think it’s ultimately because they possess something I would wish to possess within myself. So now I try to embody the spirit of my heroes and be my own hero, at least I hope that’s in part my legacy.
      Thank you for reading and wishing you a safe passage for your pregnancy x

  11. Wow, I really love this one, how true, Diana was a real Princess to the word. Beautiful and lovely person. will be missed.
    I see a lot of her in you, you do a lot for others as well, you are my Princess.

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