A Charmed Life

we could be heroes


I like the idea of a hero.
So I became one.
Not by plan exactly.
Nor by donning a cape and saving lives.
It was more like a series of events – known to you and I as living – that got me believing that I had in fact become a hero.

For as long as my memory serves me (and with my elephant memory it serves me very very well), from all the way back to when I was a wee thing I have had heroes: From real figures like my grandfather who immigrated to New Zealand from Gujarat, India with nothing but hope to provide better for his family, to my selfless, educated aunt the first feminist I knew, to Madonna one of the first people I felt a kindred spirit, to my form two teacher Mr. Emmins the first person to truly see me; to those heroes who reached me through history books Elizabeth I, Frida Kahlo and Steve Biko; to the heroes who lived only in stories Anne Shirley, Jane Eyre and Anne Elliot. And so on and on it goes, this amassing of heroes as I travel through this thing called life.

As is the case with heroes, my heroes have been feted and referenced often but until recently I never questioned the need for them. It took for these divisive times for me to think about this notion of heroes, and listening to my inner dialogue I realised I had created this otherness where my heroes lived. This is I think not an uncommon thought as when we think of heroes – they are people who create, save lives, inspire, achieve, thrive, survive. We human beings are not given to consider how we ourselves create, save lives, inspire, achieve, thrive, survive in our everyday lives. But we do.

Many of my heroes have transitioned in recent years – some of whom are known Madiba, Maya Angelou, Wayne Dyer, David Bowie and Elie Wiesel and others who are known only to those of us who basked in their light –  and as I became aware of this I had this moment where fear grabbed me. The fear that there is no one to replace them. This fear led me to call a friend for perspective, she said ‘we see in a hero something we think is not in us, so what do you see in your heroes?’ And hearing this was an ‘eureka’ moment. I was so busy looking for people to emulate I overlooked why I needed heroes in the first place. What had been lacking in my childhood that made me seek out people? And why have I kept up this practice throughout my life?

Having been on a journey of self awareness for some time now the answer was plain as day. Not only did I hold my heroes in high regard, I paradoxically saw myself on a much lower shelf. And these heroes I was collecting, all these people have had just the one role to play in my life. Of his character Juan in the film Moonlight, Mahershala Ali said he was grateful he got to play ‘a gentleman who saw a young man (Chiron) folding into himself as a result of the persecution in his community and taking the opportunity to uplift him and tell him he mattered, that he was okay and accept him.’
Each of my heroes throughout my life exist to uplift me, tell me I matter, that I am okay, to accept all of unique, crazy, geeky, energetic, resilient, compassionate, wonderful me.
Each of my heroes by example of their lives wills me to use my voice to live my purpose.
Each of my heroes has pushed me to be my own hero.

So could I be my own hero! Sounds rather ridiculous and self serving but I do know that my journey of self discovery from hitting rock bottom to getting back up again has been long, hard and full of sacrifice but to my betterment I am not the same person I was five years ago. I also know when I talk to my tribe they see in me my miracle but I have never given myself any credit for it. Another girlfriend has this one line she habitually says when asked for advice, ‘what would you say if it was me telling you this story?’ And when I think about my story there is a hero in there for it takes courage to change your life as I have done especially when you are surrounded by people who do not understand and choose to not join you at the finish line; but if you are fortunate to reach that finish line having become the person you were meant to be like I have, well that sounds like a hero to me.

And if I needed further proof of my heroness I found it last month at The Women’s March. To be part of this massive global consciousness, feeding off the vibrational energy of my fellow sisters and brothers as we came together to be our own heroes was one of the most empowering moments of my life so far.

So here I am – a hero or as my beloved Ms. Maya would say a SHEro, you won’t read about me in the papers or see me on the news, nor am I likely to be referenced in history books (although there is still time) but as long as I create, save lives, inspire, achieve, thrive, survive I am my own SHEro and that is plenty good enough for me. The actress Viola Davis said it best ‘the fact that we breathe means we have a story.’

Sat Nam

 And… I am a week late but has to be said Superbowl51 was hands down the best game I have ever seen. Like everyone else going into the game I thought the Patriots had it, but then three touchdowns later I had swung the Falcons way. There was NO way the Patriots could win, to do so SO many records would have to be broken. They just couldn’t but holy mother of comebacks, they bloody did. They aren’t even my team but the Patriots have got me seriously rethinking my Green Bay allegiance #TomBradyYouLegendYou  The Women’s March, oh what we can create when we try. I’m always up for a universal love in and I see more of these moments to come as we try to make sense of this new order we exist in #IWasThere #Resist #Forward  I think I fell a bit more in love with Adele after her George Michael tribute at the Grammys, it takes balls to admit a fuck up but to have that fuck up broadcast live around the world is a whole different kettle of fuck up but I just know he was there willing her on. Bravo Adele you SO didn’t mess it up for him, he would have been chuffed to bits, and bravo on the 5/5 Grammy wins, love how you always keep it real. #GottaGetUpToGetDown  Still on the Grammys bravo to our Starman for Blackstar also winning 5/5, we love you and we miss you so ♥ And finally as we watch truth being murdered by the US predator-in-chief and his foot soldiers, can we all take a moment to say thank you to the immigrants in our families. My history at least four generations back is one of immigrants – my great grandparents, grandparents, parents all immigrants and I myself am an immigrant. Each generation has sought to better their life not weaken the lives of those in their new environments. TRUTH: Communities are built on the shoulders of immigrants and WE ARE ALL BETTER FOR IT #RefugeesWelcome #WeAreAllImmigrants #OneLove

Author: akiwigirlabroad

'the universe always has your back'

63 thoughts on “we could be heroes

  1. I carry around a number of people (real and imagined) that inspire me. Of course many people relate to a God in this way, but I prefer human images. Whatever, I think it’s part of mental health.

  2. Love it.
    Great insight. Your silent leadership is a thing of beauty. The tribe will follow their shero!

  3. Great choice to be a hero, well done! All the best

  4. You certainly write some thought provoking articles and you are now included in my list of Sheros and Heros.

  5. First off, it was a great game!!! Go Pats!!!
    I also enjoy your posts. When you look back at our history and see the greatness that we are capable of, it makes you wonder what happened to the leaders and revolutionaries. Have all of our frontiers been reached because no one can really be the first any more? Maybe I can be the first president with sleeve tattoos, I don’t know. With all social media, it is difficult to sift through the chaff and find good thought provoking stuff. I don’t like the word hero because I feel it is overused. We must all do what we can to awaken the power of individual thought and having the strength to not only say what we believe but stand for it. Say to the world “no you move” if you will. (I still like superheroes).
    As always good stuff.

    • I think social media has made us lazy, and that now when there is an injustice or we don’t like something, too often our reaction is to post it on social media and leave it to someone else to actually fix. There’s no ownership no responsibility and no gumption. Agree we must do what we can to speak up and stand up for what is right and what lives in our hearts.
      I bet you’d make a great president, at least you know you’d be 100% better that the arsehole that’s there now.
      Thank you for the lovely comment, it was a lovely way to wake up this morning x

  6. Fantastic blog post !
    The world is definitely in need of new people to step up and become Superheroes and Supersheroes 🙂
    It is because they inspire others. Look at David Bowie, he changed people’s attitudes with his music. Wayne Dyer inspired and has helped millions with his spiritual teaching. They difference is they used their greatness to help other people in the world and this is what made them so special.

  7. Okay, you are officially my soul sister!!!! I LOVE what you have written here!!! Thank you for the inspiration!! I think you will be in the history books, my friend! Words like this will get you in those pages!!! “So here I am – a hero or as my beloved Ms. Maya would say a SHEro, you won’t read about me in the papers or see me on the news, nor am I likely to be referenced in history books (although there is still time) but as long as I create, save lives, inspire, achieve, thrive, survive I am my own SHEro and that is plenty good enough for me. The actress Viola Davis said it best ‘the fact that we breathe means we have a story.’”

  8. Bless you love- I totally feel you.
    Wow- I happened to start reading this wonderful piece of yours a Rufus Wainwright was singing Hallelujah in my ears, and all that kept repeating in me was “love” over and over again.

    Keep shining, keep sharing, and thank you ever so much for connecting. ❤

  9. A wonderful post and encouraging for all. We are stronger and can promote more change than we realize ‘just by being present and breathing ‘. It is definitely a time when we are all being called to rise up to our full potential. Thank you for leading the way. Namaste.

  10. Pay it forward, another hero : D

    Our world around is affect the world around those and their world affect …. etc..etc..

  11. I love this! Although the football bit kind of went over my head as a Brit haha *hides face*

    • Ohh It did me once upon a time too as a kiwi it was so not the rugby I grew up with. But I have cousins who are football nuts so they introduced me to it and I really fell for it. Thank you for reading and the love x

  12. Excellent post. I am happy to have found you. Thank you.

  13. Right on, we’re on the same page on this subject!

  14. This a great post! It is good to be reminded that as long as we create, save lives, inspire, achieve, thrive and survive, we are Sheroes in our own ways!

  15. Never quite looked at heroes and idolising through a personal lens. A very interesting read. Thanks for stopping by my blog and bringing me to yours. Looking forward to reading more:-)

  16. You are like Wendy, Peter Pan’s hero.

  17. Thanks for your kind words about my 90isthenewblack musings. I just read some of your most recent writings, and as an old, old editor, find them refreshing and creative. Keep up the good work. Ted

  18. Thanks for the “like” on my blog Being Fully Human! I like this piece you have on heroes, yes quite a loss of Bowie, Prince too last year… Have you read any of Joseph Campbell’s work on the Hero’s Journey? E.g. The Power of Myth or The Hero With a Thousand Faces? (There are also a few books out there on the Heroines Journey). I’ve been using Campbell’s framework for supporting war veterans make the psycho-spiritual journey home. One last thing – I lived in Auckland for 3.5 years! Gosh, I miss it. In Seattle, USA, now. Living abroad makes the idea of “home” quite complex.

    • Not heard of Joseph Campbell, will have to look him up, thank you for the tip and for the read.
      I know what you mean about living abroad making the idea of ‘home’ complex but I left New Zealand because I never felt I belonged, took me leaving to understand that New Zealand is a dear old place. I’m a Wellington girl myself but haven’t lived there for 20years so it definitely no longer feels like home. I found in London the place where I belong.
      Oh and I still can’t believe the rather pathetic way Prince died, I watched Purple Rain recently, and it just made me think of how gifted he was and how together he came across – vegan, religious, exercise obsessed, in charge of his output(and oh how he fought for that) – this was a man who cared about himself and his legacy… and to go out the same way as the pathetic Michael Jackson and Whitney, its just not right. He wasn’t like them. So I thought. Sad. Tragic. Miss him.
      Be well my friend x

  19. Well said. There are many people who play significant roles in our lives. They are our heroes.They blazed trails, like parents, grandparents and relatives. I like to think that we are our own heroes whenever we strive to make the world a better place for all. Thank you for sharing this insight.,

  20. Love this post, and definitely, we have people in our lives that are our heroes, but takes us long to see it and for me – You are one of them. You inspire me and what you have achieved on your own there is just no words to describe it. Love you heaps and keep writing, these awesome posts.

    • Thank you my most favourite cousin, nice to have the support and love from at least one member of the blood family, love you D always, you are pretty awesome yourself you know
      x Ree ♥️💋

  21. This was so beautifully insightful and uplifting. I’m a better person for having read it. Thank you so much for visiting my blog and giving me a chance to see yours.

  22. Anne Shirley is your hero? You must be a kindred spirit then! Great to have found this blog 🙂

    • I love love her, I still read the books at least once a year. I even made a trip to PE Island to pay homage. I think she is a great role model for young girls, she certainly was for me x

  23. Interesting lineage, Newzealand from Gujarat. A hero on a distant land 😊

  24. “we came together to be our own heroes” I agree with you. We all are the same – human beings with the same birthrights. We all are different as perceptions, experiences … passions, but we share the same way – a life with the same religion – LOVE. Wonderful post!

  25. My heroes are the thinkers who dare to be themselves …

  26. I enjoy your mix of social/political commentary and media reviews. I’m not sure who my heroes are anymore. Before the primaries last year they were Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren. But after they both came out in support of Hillary Clinton, they toppled off their pedestals and remain grounded, as far as I’m concerned.

    But from your commentary, I guess you HAVE to be your own hero. Because heroes are literally a dying breed.

  27. When I saw the title of this I immediately thought of the Alesso song haha. Glad you found a way to be the type of shero you always admired! I’m in the process of being the Pharaoh I want to be as well, so am inspired more to accomplish this after your post. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  28. Good. The world needs S/Heroes. badly. 🙂

  29. My grandmother (not sure how many “greats” and don’t want to figure) came here from a backwater part of Germany in the 1880s after her husband died. The woman had 8 kids. I do wonder why she landed where she did – calling it provincial would be kind – but the fact remains that she did it. I have the same name. It’s a family name, so we aren’t the only two, but I still like to hope that I can be as fearless.

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