A Charmed Life




I’m a sucker for a questionnaire, not the EDF Energy/Vodafone ‘how may we improve our service’ variety, I’m more about the ‘let’s talk about you’ ones. I love them so much that a few years back a good friend who lives in LA sent me one for my birthday, with a message that read ‘You’re a such a fussy bitch to shop for, I have no idea what to get you for your birthday, but I know you will get a kick out of this,’ and she was right; and now come every November it has become tradition for her to send me a questionnaire. What can I say; for some it’s a Hermès bangle for me its a questionnaire… actually on second thoughts I’ll take the bangle as well as the questionnaire 😉

I don’t really know what it is about them I love exactly, maybe the self evaluate element or the distraction they provide or just that they are a bit of a laugh; what I do know for sure is it that ever since I found out the flamingo is my spirit animal I see them everywhere. Like everywhere – street art, posters, on a cocktail glass, social media, clothing, on Eastenders and I’m not one for coincidences!

Anyways I’ll ponder over the significance of these sightings another time. The following came into my inbox recently and it took me right back, to years ago when I used to watch a show called Inside the Actors Studio during which these questions were asked by host James Lipton to the guest towards the end of the show and without fail every time I watched an episode I would rattle off my own answers as if I was being interviewed, kind of not surprising seeing as I love a questionnaire but kind of reductive seeing as my answers pretty much stayed the same every time. So ten years later these are my answers to the Pivot Questionnaire today:

  1. What is your favourite word? Grace, it is what I seek in others and it is what I expect of myself.
  2. What is your least favourite word? Nice, when there are so many beautiful words available in the English language why would you ever settle for the most unimaginative of them all.
  3. What turns you on? Rambunctious laughter. 
  4. What turns you off? Meanness.
  5. What sound or noise do you love? The sound of someone I love breathing.
  6. What sound or noise do you hate? The sound of my own voice when I’m on a rant.
  7. What is your favourite curse word? It would have to be fuck, I say fuck me a lot. Fuck is a great word. Versatile. To the point.  
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Musician – either the piano or saxophone.
  9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything in the military and anything that knowingly makes it okay to kill another person.
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? ‘You done good, you’re my favourite’

Now over to you, have a go at answering them yourself and enjoy the distraction (feel free to share in comments).

Sat Nam

Author: akiwigirlabroad

'the universe always has your back'

5 thoughts on “flamingoes

  1. great piece, and love the questionnaire.

  2. f*ck is the best swear word
    It would be my fav too

  3. RK, this is so random but I did find it funny. That show is still on you know.

    Swear word C**t
    Job I’d like Astronaut
    Job I’d least like Working in a morgue

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