You work hard in your job, promotion is in sight but then you fall out with your manager.
You are a chief procrastinator, always leaving things to the last minute then you end up feeling inadequate because they don’t turn out exactly how you had envisaged.
You are working on a project you love, its going well and then slowly you stop doing it because it doesn’t feel fun anymore.
You are constantly thinking about the would’ves, could’ves and should’ves instead of thinking about the right now.
You finally are on track to getting your book published but then you lose your enthusiasm.
Does this sound familiar? Okay the last one is totally about me but I think we can all relate to engaging in self sabotaging behaviour at some point. I am sitting in a café in Hong Kong sipping green tea thinking why am I feeling like this – do I have a fear of success or a fear of failure? The path to getting my book published has been long and challenging and the end is so close I can taste it, only I find I am more interested in reading up on why they are killing off Lucy Beale on Eastenders than getting on with the tasks at hand. Need to get out of my funk…
Ways to defeat the self sabotaging beast
Write clear goals. I find list form works for me as it is easier to read when you need to refer back.
Refer back to your list often. To keep me on track for achieving my goals I constantly refer to my list and visualise them as already being fulfilled. This helps to keep me focused.
And while you are at it write down what is it that you are afraid of and ask yourself do you have any control over it? If you do then what can you do to avoid this from happening? If you don’t let it go, no point in worrying for the sake of worrying.
Talk it out. Those closest to me are my biggest fan club so as soon as I feel any kind of fear creeping into my head, I know there is always someone I can turn to to help me gain perspective. Finding like minded people is also important, for while having the support of friends and family is great sometimes they can’t relate to your actual issue. While I have been writing my book and then looking to get published I have found writing groups that assisted me on my journey. Failing that there are professionals you can turn to. I have used (and still do use) both a life coach and a therapist and can’t sing their praises enough.
Change your attitude. Somewhere along the way you have let fear creep in so it is vital you get the positivity back into your life. To borrow from President Obama you need a ‘yes
we you can’ attitude to keep that self sabotaging beast at bay.