This morning I walked around London with the back of my dress tucked in my tights. To my horror I only realised my faux pas when I paid a visit to the bathroom at a restaurant. A quick recap made me realise this mishap had happened as I was getting ready. Luckily it is winter coat time here, so I was saved from a total humiliation for I was covered as I travelled to my destination. However I did take my coat off in public when I took my seat for brunch and yes it was in a restaurant full of people. It got me thinking about other embarrassing moments I have had. Here are a few of my classics:
The one with the fall It was my first day in a new job and I was being taken around the trading floor being introduced to the traders. When I fell. No obstruction, no one tripped me, my heels weren’t even that high. I just fell, flat on my face. All I remember thinking in those seconds on the floor was ‘this is how they are going to remember you.’ And how right I was.
The one with the blurting out I have a habit of talking to myself, sometimes it is in my head sometimes I talk out loud. During a statistics lecture at university, I found myself disputing a calculation the lecturer had written up on the blackboard. I made a note to ask him about it later and in my head I had this conversation with myself about how the equation really should be while also abusing the lecturer for not knowing his subject… a few seconds later I heard myself verbalise ‘oh my god, what the hell are you doing?’ I remember gasps from other students and the lecturer saying ‘how is god going to help you?’ What made the situation particularly embarrassing and memorable to this day was that this lecturer was also my tutor so I couldn’t be a nameless student in his class. He knew me by name. I remember one test he marked in which I got all ten questions correct – under the mark, he had written ‘I think god helped you with this one.’
The one with the ring tone I’m not one to get a new gadget and be overly excited about it, as such I was one of the last people I know to get a mobile phone. In fact when I finally got an iphone last year, I had a ten year old teach me how to use it and even he gave me look of disbelief at some of the questions I asked. Technology and me – not the best of friends I have to say. When I got my first mobile I had ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ (Mary Poppins) as my ring tone. In my first week of having the phone, there I am at a work presentation, and just as our Head announces a new appointment, my phone rings and to make matters worse I’m still not used to my phone so like everyone else I start to look around waiting for the inconsiderate person to switch their phone off – took a good few seconds for me to realise that person was me.
The one with the incorrect name I credit myself for having an elephant memory but I distinctly remember one work function whereby it totally failed me. I spent the entire evening calling a new contact Steve even introducing him as Steve to other work colleagues only to be told at the end of the evening, when we were saying our goodbyes, his name was Brendan. Steve/Brendan – no idea how I got it so wrong. Go figure.
The one with the stolen car On a rare solo trip to the supermarket, I exited the store laden with my shopping to find the car missing. So what do I do – I proceed to get into a panic, I get supermarket security involved, ring the police and file a police report. A couple of hours later after explaining to my boyfriend what had transpired, we get a call to say it is still at the car park presumably where I had parked it. It turns out I had parked the car in the front entrance and exited the supermarket from the back entrance which also had a car park (which incidentally looked exactly the same to me). D’oh!
As I write this, I realise I could keep going with my embarrassing moments; not locking bathroom doors, forgetting to do my fly, having my bikini top come loose while I was swimming in a public pool, falling from a treadmill, missing a flight … the list keeps getting longer. We all have them though don’t we? Yes they make us cringe but mostly they should make us laugh – for what else can one do when you find yourself in a pickle?
Note to self: Always check your backside before you leave home.